The King of Cornwall
Euphemia's Brother
And This - 12
it's 3am, 3.30, 4, 4.30... it's half past five in the morning, this is the news (radio4) 'We are getting reports that during the night in towns and cities across the country, eco-loons have been found hanging from lamposts. Witnesses report that the eco-loons had had jam doughnuts stuffed in their mouths and swarms of wasps let loose upon their faces. The BBC has been unable thus far to make contact with the police, who are all feared to have been chloroformed. Radio4 listeners are strongly urged to remain indoors. In other news...' (i switch it off)
enough! i must stop making things up! and furthermore, i do resolve at this hour, at just gone half past five in the morning, that henceforth from here, i shall make nothing up! nothing! i will speak nothing but the truth, the whole truth...
i do not have a laptop (there, soon said... and to be perfectly frank, i think laptops are for girls) and nor do i have a tv in the kitchen, or a kitchen you can sit in, and nor would i be caught listening to radio4 (god forbid) - the truth is i'm sitting in a rather grand executive chair at a rather grand executive desk and i'm really rather refined (my sister on the other hand, the less said the better)
and why am i writing this? ah...
that's because i'm dying, egypt, dying
and in a hurry
toodle pip
